I hate it when faggots make excuses for why they aren’t serving Cock as much as they claim they want to. Conversely, I appreciate no-BS, enterprising, faggots that are always looking for ways to be better, sluttier, Cocksuckers, Cumdumps, and whores. This following post was written by one such resourceful faggot slut. While I don’t usually post things written by my faggot minions, this one deserves to be an exception since it’s so slut-practical. In fact, I’m going to have to include it in the next edition of My Ultimate Gloryhole Guide.
But now, I’ll let the faggot minion whore speak for itself. – FagMaster
I want to thank FagMaster for allowing me to share this and for editing my stupid faggot writing and I hope my fellow faggots find it useful!
I LOVE being a gloryhole slut, but because of my schedule and that I don’t drive I can rarely make it to the adult bookstores. To make up for this I’d put up this shitty gloryhole and let Men come over to use me. It really was shitty too. A blanket with a hole in it, tacked to the wall. I just didn’t think it looked “slut professional” so I wanted to make something better. But something easy too.
The great thing about my homemade gloryhole is that it cost less than $20 ($19.81), it only took 20 minutes to make, and requires no sewing skills. It looks pretty good too. It’s not super fancy, but it sure does the trick. Plus, I’ve noticed that more Men have been showing up to use me after I added a pic of the gloryhole to my profiles, and more of them are repeat customers too. My guess is that having a gloryhole like this instead of a tacked-up blanket lets them know that I’m the real deal and serious about being a gloryhole slut. Anyway, eventually I want to buy or make a fancier home-gloryhole but there’s no rush now since this one is working just great.
So here’s the instructions. Have fun slut-friends! (P.S. Apologies for the crappy picture quality).
MAKING YOUR AWESOME EZ GLORYHOLE
I bought all I needed through Amazon Prime Now, so they were delivered the same day and few hours later I had the first Cock in my mouth (and cunt)! If you don’t have Amazon prime, you can get these things easily from a local hardware store.
- 6’x9’ Canvass Drop Cloth - $11.95
- Tension Rod (Like for showers, but smaller) - $7.86
- Stapler - $10.14 (I already had one)
- Scissors – I’m sure you have these
- Yardstick/Straight Edge – Just something to measure with and something to draw straight lines with will do. Yardsticks are like 45 cents at hardware stores.
- Sharpie/Pen – Sharpie is best, but any pen is fine.
- Xacto knife, Box or other knife – Any will do if sharp. I used an exacto.
STEP 1 – MEASURE THE DOORWAY
Measure the doorway or doorways you plan to use for your gloryhole before you buy anything. You need to get a tension rod that fits. My tension rod was 25-43 Inch. Shower tension rods are too big for most doorways btw.
STEP 2 – MEASURE AND CUT THE DROP CLOTH
Lay the drop cloth on the floor. The awesome thing is that the drop cloth’s smaller 6’ side is already perfect for the gloryhole’s height. So you just need to measure the width of the doorway, mark the canvass, draw a line and then cut the drop cloth. Simple enough, right?
Oh, and more coolness: You’ll have enough extra drop cloth left over to make a couple more back-up gloryholes if ya like.
STEP 3 – MEASURE THE ROD LOOP
This is where the tension rod slides through. Just lay the tension rod towards the top of the canvass and fold the canvass over the rod to get an estimate for the size of the hole you’ll need. You don’t want the loop so tight that the tension rod can’t easily slide in and out, but you also need to check to see that the loop is short enough for your stapler “stitch” the loop together. Which brings us to …
STEP 4 – STAPLE THAT BITCH!
I was worried that this wouldn’t work, that the staples wouldn't go through all the way or wouldn’t hold. I didn’t need to worry. My stapler wasn’t even heavy duty and it worked fine.
Put a couple staples on the right and left sides of the loop to hold it in place. Then just staple way, trying to create a fairly clean line. Also, to keep the loop more secure, reverse the directions of the staples. One staple with teeth towards your side of the canvass, the other with teeth towards His side of the canvass, and so on.
Now the magic begins and we start to transform our canvass drop cloth into an actual gloryhole …
STEP 5 – FIND THE HOLE
Put your soon-to-be Gloryhole up in the doorway. Make sure it is a couple inches from the very top of the doorway. Then get on your knees like a good faggot and mark an estimate of where your mouth is. Make a second mark a few inches above, and a third a few inches below, your first mark. This will be your loose guide for creating your hole in the next step. But first …
Do a quick double check. Stand up and see where your crotch is relative to the hole. Depending on your own height, think about whether or not it’s about right for a guy of average height. Update the marks if needed. Even if you do you do it will probably only be by an inch or two.
Just remember, when estimating the location of the hole aim a little HIGH not LOW. This is because if the gloryhole ends up being a little too high for the Man using you, that’s easily fixed by simply lowering the tension rod a few inches. Since the tension rod is already near the top of the doorway, if you make the gloryhole too low you won’t have much room to raise the tension rod.
STEP 6 – OUTLINE THE HOLE
Technically speaking I guess this is a glory-rectangle. But that doesn’t sound as nice, so I’m going to keep calling it a gloryhole. Personally I wouldn’t recommend trying to create a circular hole simply because that will be harder to cut and because I think the canvass will fray a lot if you do. I haven’t had a Cock complain yet that the hole was rectangular either. So go with that.
Since I’m lazy in everything OTHER than being a Cocksucking Cumwhore, I’m always looking for shortcuts. The shortcut I found for making the hole was to look on my bookshelf for a book that was about the same size vertically as the marks I placed on the canvass, and a width that just felt about right. Lay your book so that it’s about centered over the marks, then use your pen to outline it on the canvass. And voilà!
STEP 7 – CUT THE HOLE
GET A CUTTING BOARD and put it under the hole. Don’t forget that shit or your floor will be angry at you. Hold the canvass in place and as flat as possible with one hand, and slowly, CAREFULLY, cut out the hole using a straight edge and your exacto or knife. I don’t know if it was that my Xacto knife was a bit dull, or just the nature of the canvass, but I had to slice each side a few times. The fabric tended to fray a bit, but it wasn’t that bad.
STEP 8 (OPTIONAL) – GIVE IT SOME FLAIR
Personally, I felt something was missing. So I took my sharpie and added a little raunchy flair. And, okay, I kinda lied when I said the gloryhole took 20 minutes to make. Inking in the CUM DUMP part took another 15 minutes. Probably because the sharpie was making me high. Anyway … Now comes the BEST STEP OF ALL …
STEP 9 – HANG THAT BAD BOY UP AND SERVE SOME COCK!
Take some pics of your awesome new gloryhole and add them to your slut profiles online (Hopefully you'll take better pics than the ones I did! This one really doesn't do my happy gloryhole justice. My phone is crappy.)
Invite Men over. Suck those Cocks! Swallow those Loads. Back up and get your slutty cunt drilled and filled with Spunk!
OTHER GH IDEAS
I haven’t tested these ideas but they may be worth trying when creating your gloryhole:
Iron It - I didn’t do that because my iron is broke. Plus, like I said, I’m a lazy faggot.
Sew The Loop – Got a sewing machine? Then skip the staple part and sew it. The staples hold just fine though. And if any of them ever pulled loose, it takes all of 5 seconds to re-staple.
Weighted Bottom – I thought about weighing down the bottom of the gloryhole so it would have a more sold, flat feel. Maybe by stitching another loop at the bottom and putting a heavy wooden dowel inside? So far though, there’s been no need. You might try it, though.
I hope you liked this post and that you get tons of Cock and Cum through your own private gloryhole. Happy slutting, my fellow faggots!
CALL OUT TO PORTLAND ALPHAS
Are you an Alpha in or visiting Portland Oregon? Want to use my mouth or cunt through my gloryhole. Or maybe you're into force fucking, gang-fucking, or breeding slutting out a cumdump pig to whoever you want at gloryholes, motels or wherever!
My handle is CumHoleFuckPig on BarebackRT.com, NastyKinkPigs.com, Recon.com, and Fetlife.com.
(Thanks to FagMaster for letting me to give this call out!)